Saturday, January 7, 2012

Reality Setting In

It’s 2012 and the countdown to transplant is now less than one week to the first major treatment phase…that being the mobilization phase, which involves a walloping dose of Cytoxan to stimulate the bone marrow stem cells to prepare for extraction. This will happen this coming Friday, January 13th.

(Photo taken NY Day off Palos Verdes Peninsula)

I’m told to expect to be pretty queasy for the weekend. I’m also told this will set into motion the process that will result in my hair falling out….most likely within two weeks of the Cytoxan infusion.

So this is all getting pretty real. And, yes, I’m starting to get a bit spooked about the whole thing. It’s moved beyond the abstract phase of living it out through the experiences of others who have been through this. Gradually, I’m getting to the recognition that this is happening to ME.

I’m still feeling emotionally strong and well prepared for what is coming. I’m not close to panic. My anxiety is highest for two aspects: how nauseous I will be for how long and how long it will take me to get my mojo back. I’m also taking the advice of others who have gone before me and stocking up on things I think I’ll need: Lots of entertainment, my own special blanket and pillow, a stocking cap, some washable slippers. I intend to lock into some TV series that I have not seen but have been highly recommended by friends…including Breaking Bad, Friday Night Lights and The Good Wife. I have a new iPad that will be used for this purpose. It will also serve as a way for me to keep this blog up to date. It will give me the opportunity to video conference from the hospital from my convalescence at home via FaceTime and Skype. And, right now, it allows me to watch the 3 Stooges from anywhere I happen to be.


  1. Some say, "It is what it is." I say, "It is what you make it." You do this so well, Ed.

    Remember: don't eat your favorite food(s) before chemo sessions.You will likely develop a psychological aversion to those foods from which you may never recover...even once YOU have recovered.

    Sending peace, love and MOJO to you!

  2. You don't have to look very far for your mojo - you were born with it. I now have access to Skype so maybe you can skype me as well. I also have mothers washable slippers that she never used if you want them. Love you very much!

  3. Uncle Eddie,
    Just got back today from Paris& Israel. Had a great time they list my luggage...hopefully will be delivered tomorrow. We are thinking of you. Love your optimism & strength! We are strong on this side of the family!!! That's for sure!;-)
    U also now have Skype so look forward to speaking to you where I can see you.
    You go because "You Rock!!" Ellyn would say. Guess what!?
    Had the best hummus I have ever had in my life in Israel at a place near the Western Wall in Jerusalem. Also fresh squeezed juices everyday!! They are wayyyy...more healthy than we are here!
    Love you!!! Am thinking of you always!!!!! You'll get through all this!! I know!

  4. Ed,

    Other than sanding you more of the love, admiration and support that all of your family and friends have for you, I'm not a good one for advice.

    But knowing you, I have this one piece. Be sure you subscribe to the Big Ten's On-Line Package and get the IPad free app for the Big Ten. The on-line package doesn't cost much if you already have a cable service that covers it (and Time Warner does if you have that). With that, you can watch tons of Wisconsin or other Big Ten stuff from the comfort of wherever you are, including their archival stuff.

    Also, get the ESPN link and watch anything that is on any of the ESPN family of networks in a similar fashion.

    Of course, with the way Wisconsin has been playing lately, maybe I shouldn't recommend this! I know Badger fans who were 100% well who are already feeling sick just from watching them lose to Iowa at home!

    Seriously, with love and support,


  5. I've been following your mm journey. Mine is just beginning. Thank you for letting me share in it. I wish you all the best and will be cheering you on.

  6. Ed: I've found the 3 stooges' sophisticated humor will help you get through anything...nyuk nyuk

    Best of luck my man and we'll be thinking of you and praying for you

    Steve Fioretti

  7. Sending lots of love and light from the Hattenbach clan. You are in our hearts always.